Self-Flagellation Pending
Is it a rhetorical question when you're talking to yourself?
There is something wrong with me. There must be. After months of no communication whatsoever, I suddenly feel the need to talk to him. Sure, he was the one who blew me off, and he wasn't all that interested even when we were talking. I was his back-up girl, for crying out loud. It wasn't as if he ever cared.
And he hurt me. Being ignored, being taken for granted can hurt as much a striking hand when it's from someone you care about. At least, it can hurt when it's from someone you think you care about. After all, could I ever have known him enough to really care? He never opened up to me, not seriously. One-line jokes and hokey puns don't count.
So why do I want to talk to him again? Am I that desperate for male affection? Am I that lonely? Am I that masochistic?
There is something wrong with me. There must be. After months of no communication whatsoever, I suddenly feel the need to talk to him. Sure, he was the one who blew me off, and he wasn't all that interested even when we were talking. I was his back-up girl, for crying out loud. It wasn't as if he ever cared.
And he hurt me. Being ignored, being taken for granted can hurt as much a striking hand when it's from someone you care about. At least, it can hurt when it's from someone you think you care about. After all, could I ever have known him enough to really care? He never opened up to me, not seriously. One-line jokes and hokey puns don't count.
So why do I want to talk to him again? Am I that desperate for male affection? Am I that lonely? Am I that masochistic?
3 Comments:
At 3/22/2006 8:10 PM,
mlelou said…
you are woman.
there is no logic to these things. when i think about all the asshats i repeatedly gave attention to it makes my heart begin to devour itself.
don't call. write everything down and laugh about it later. you will. i promise.
sorry. very very sorry.
but please, keep blogging.
At 3/23/2006 3:16 PM,
Heather said…
Who do I need to kill for you? Or if not kill, I'll mame them for you. Just say the word, (or don't... *wink*) and I'm at your command.
And on another note, thank you. I just saw your post about compassion and such, with the link to my entry, and I just wanted to say thank you, thank you, thank you, and you should know that I love you and think you're a wonderful woman. Don't let this crapload of a man get you down, you're far better than he will ever be! You need anything, you email me. I mean it.
At 3/27/2006 5:18 PM,
Anonymous said…
Yeah... see my email I sent you earlier... before I even read this post.
99.8% of women are masochists. The other .02% were then became asexual. Or lesbians. Or something. Anything to stop the bs.
-kismet
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